love love love love

i applied for a job today. weird phenomenon, seeing as how i havent been on the hunt for work in really over 7 years.

its strange. its like being single after being ina longterm relationship, something i also am recently familiar with. strangely, i was with my last employer longer than my last relationship. its odd.

im contemplating a rather large move. a rather rather large one.

we'll see.

on a seperate note, i set my spell check to Spanish on this new wonder that is Windows 7 and it says that a good 90 por cientos of my words are spelled wrong. with the exception of por cientos y otro palabras. :]

its fun.

okay. going back now. update soon.

gosh i love you.

The Devil wears Dolce and Gabbana...

i wonder if the person who thought up these sprinklers that shoot vertically... got the concept by accidentally sitting on a bidet..."

seriously. i LOVE this. it felt nice to pass a structure that you could tell had love and respect for Mother in it.

Mother Earth has treated us well. how hard is it to make shit out of shit that already existed?

don't get me wrong, it doesn't have to be THIS extreme, and you CAN be subtle about it. but i like the concept!

google it (i always do it for everything) and you will find so much CAN be recycled....so why isnt it?

all im saying is this.

dont get plastic bags, get paper...or a reusable one so you dont have to worry about being lazy later.

i have about 12 in my house in random places.

buy recycled! yes it may be .50c or 1$ more, but think of it this way, by doing so you support recycling and will be more likely to recycle in the future :]

recycle your things! or give them to a thrift store to reuse! recycling isnt just recycling. reusing allows someone to make use of your things. have toy exchange parties for your children, dont be afraid to give your belongings to someone else. i GUARANTEE someone needs your shit.

recycle. lets lower our waste. our output can be a greater contribution than what it is currently.

we are better :]

John Lennon

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't
just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on
by itself. You've got to keep on watering it. You've got to really look after
it and nurture it"
John Lennon

was i slash am i a beatles fan? not so much. short of singing one particular song for one particular person...

thats really about it.

but this is exactly what im talking about. combine this with;

Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people Sharing all the world.
John Lennon
(Imagine)

and suddenly i want to cuddle up in a rolling stone photoshoot with a naked john lennon in the fetal position.

the man had something in his noggin.

but i dont think people listened truly to what was on his mind when he said these things.

when we meet, John, we will have MUCH to talk about.

i love you, man.

(good movie by the way).

Produce Schmoduce. i call your bullShT

i'm sitting in a glorious little coffee shop aptly named the coffee house and drinking coffee, reading, writing, and pondering the meanings of life while Dont Stop Believing rings through the mediocre sound system.

thats a damn good song.

anyways, i call your bullshit.

i do.

because i said the same thing.

people claim that they dont eat healthier because its more expensive.

i used to agree until i realized...its not in addition to all the crap you're eating...its in place of it. and dont go to big conglomerate multimillion dollar stores because you pay for more than just the cost of fruit. also...shop IN SEASON. and you wont pay out the booty for it.

since i started eating raw, i realized you do end up shopping more than before, mainly because you cant buy 2 weeks of produce all the time :]

but i found this AMAZING little produce shop by my house, and its gorgeous selection i fell in love with.

in addition...i will have you know it was CHEAP.

i bought 3 kiwis, 3 oranges, a vine of tomatoes, ginormous red bell peppers, 5 HUGE granny apples, a "hand" of bananas, 2 lbs of strawberries, onions, a kaboodle of peaches. i mean a LOT of food. and i spent 17$. this is enough food for about a week for me along with what i have at home, which is relatively cheap. at a major grocery chain i likely would have spent 25-30$ or so.

this is why we support local growers. they have passion and most of the time they are growing all organic:]

my melons are better than these. but these are cheaper. im sorry but its inflation my friend. :]

Support your local farmers. dont pay for advertising and transportation. buy real. buy local :] i promise it tastes better also!

Song of the day

Weezer - put me back together.

One of the most romantic and intimate things around is music. Its hard to resist taking the songs for what they are on the surface. But I find its much more romantic to lay on the ground and just listen the words and imagine how it all came to fruition. Merely speculation. But beautiful nevertheless.

This one is for shane.

Love you sir. You who inspired me to love.

i havent forgotten about you.

what is this about?

what is it all about?

life is good and we need to feel good in it.

i started this blog for one reason and one reason only: love.

we need more of it.

and today is about love for ourselves.

my cousin committed suicide recently.

thankfully he is an organ donor, and 7 families will feel love once again. miracles and life.

however Andy is no longer here, and he didn't feel the love. through no fault of anyone elses, and i can understand this. why didn't he love himself? why didn't he give himself another chance?

its important to look at the entire picture.

lets be blunt.

i'm 23.

im 5 ft 9 ish.

i'm a size 14. but if i dont get the longs, no go.

with a size 11 shoe.

asymmetrical dimples and prominent brows.

18 months ago i was 281 lbs.

i dont like admitting that. at all.

but i SHOULD! look at me!

im beautiful!

we are lovely people. we are. so different and diverse. lets be honest, you cant choose who you are physically attracted to. but you can choose to love yourself.

i have lost a good deal of weight. and i am not done. but i lvoe me how i am, and thats epic.

the other day while staying at a friends house my body woke me at 530 am, demanding of me some quality time.

i showered and spent some time with myself. i put on a song that makes me feel wonderful and i danced. i danced in the shower, i danced out of the shower. i danced with myself and sang. it felt wonderful. i was having a wonderful time and i saw myself in the mirror, i felt beautiful and lovely. an that is so important. it was at that moment the day was GOING to be good. there was no denying it. this couldn't be a bad day. i breathed it all in. im such a beautiful person. smetimes you need to just say all you are, who you are and what makes you amazing. send it into the world and let the atmosphere know who you are.

im incredible. im quirky and sometimes i dont finish my sentences.

i listen to songs on repeat wayyy too much.

i fall hard when i fall.

i love loving but am scared sometimes of it as well and thats okay.

i want to help people.

i send care packages to soldiers overseas and sometimes letters to let them know they are loved.

i take pictures of myself. i take pictures of others. i really want to take photos of military families who need some professional photos to send overseas to their loved ones.

i love working with kids. their emotion is raw and beautiful and simple.

i love to sing and cardance.

i want to build houses for those that need them.

bring water to families without it.

a dream of mine was to go to africa and help people there.

i want to find the cause of cancer, because im confident its more something that can be avoided rather than cured. i dream about it.

i give to the homeless and really try to avoid judgement.

i love God. even if i hate religion.

i work on my body.

i sing! doesnt mean im good, just means i do it.

i believe and act on doing what you love.

i am in school to master Spanish and ASL and then i want to work for a non profit.

thought about learning phlebotomy and working for the red cross.

i dance! even though its not the best i dance anyway!

wearing sundresses and fun diddies makes me feel beautiful.

i like hand holds and my head on peoples shoulders and that nook where i just seem to fit.

i love my friends very much.

i love people.

i try to pay it forward all the time.

i am there for people.

i like to play footsies.

i love music. it is such an integral part of my life.

i love learning!

i do wish i could get a degree just taking the classes i love.

im not good at math and i accept that.

i want to take a bath like in pretty woman.

i dont always say what i want to or what i mean. but i try.

i really really dont like negativity. i think it breeds more of itself. i try to breed positivity. :]

i love animals.

im learnign to love exercise.

i dont like camping but im working on hiking.

i love feeling powerful and invincible.

i want to take personal defense and kickboxing and martial arts.

i love feeling safe in someones arms, be it family, friends, or lovers.

i dont want to be toned.

im not ashamed of most everythign ive done. i have rethought about my actions in some cases now.

i LOVE to laugh.

i LOVE adventures.

i could drive and ride in the car for hours with just music and a good person with me.

i love me. im a good person, im beautiful and sometimes sexy. i can be adorable or pretty and downright silly.

i have the best sisters and brothers ever.

im an open book and i try not to fib.

i really think that we all need to just open up to others. lay it all on the table.

:]

spend quality time rather than just time with someone.

and i really think we all need quality time with ourselves.

just like dating and courting happens before relationships and marriage...we need more us time.

we are beautiful people.

take a moment and just say all that is good about you. :]

because you know what, i love you. and you should too.

please, if you are contemplating suicide...get help.

its not the answer. you could be here experiencing love and happiness.

let us give that to you.

contact a friend or family member you trust. and talk.

you wont regret it.

i feel they deserve their own.

why group them together?

good things each need their own spotlight.

furthermore, i think its a sin to think of them at the same time and not afford them their right to be drank in like a shot of the good whiskey.

feel the burn my friends.

the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"
Jack Kerouac