rooftop shouting

just thought that i would tell you.

i have a son.

and he is MIGHTY wonderful.

amazing really.

just saying.

im smitten.

and the world should know that.

no damn good reason

I've yet to hear a good reason why it is that the gays shouldnt be able to get married.

too beautiful.

i dont want to see the door shut

i dont wanna see the door shut

i dont wanna see the door shut

and the engine start

i dont want to hear "i love you but"

i dont wanna hear "i love you but"

i dont wanna hear "i love you" cuz

its just not the same

you're too beautiful to leave

but far too beautiful to stay

but i want you here with me

either way

youre too beatiful to go

simply too beautiful

you're too beautiful to go

to san francisco

its no secret that i love.

i traveled the impromptu trip up to a stranger of a venue and waited.
the concept of a venue with an underage balcony and a 21 and over floor excited me. I grabbed a cup of coffee and made my way to the second row and sat down.
Wakey Wakey's lead Michael Grubbs was what brought me to Portland. but what captivated me was much more.

i am not a fan of opening bands, until i met Andrew Belle.


there are few words i can use to describe music, because of the intense love affair that i have with her.
music is my muse, my ic, my soul. its quite beautful and intimate.
"nothing goes as planned, everything will break, people say goodbye, in their own special way....oh you're in my veins and i can not get you out..." these words from a previously unreleased ballad, andrew explained, were first heard by the world on the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. but that isnt the only place to hear Belle.
his music has been used by MTV and the CW.
the music is that which makes love to you, and you listen to while you make love. its passionate and overpowering, beautiful and intense, enthralling and awe inspriing.
his soft vocals resonated through the intimate venue and there was complete silence. His stories give the feeling of falling in love, of seeing "her" for the first time, of "him" reaching out and grabbing your hand, that emotion that you feel maybe a handful of times in your life yet try to find every day. I have only been exposed to this feeling through music a handful of times, and his entire set was the exception to the rule. i was touched.
such a beautiful display of emotions set to melody is worthy of far more than a 10$ cover charge.

I immediately went and picked up his album "the ladder" from the merch table (the title track being one of my own favorites", and also the EP "all those pretty lights". they accompanied me on the way home from Portland, all the way to my "for now" home of Salem.
its music that takes you in, and leaves you spinning. i got into my car and i was still singing, i was writing songs in my head. it was beautiful.

After Andrew left the stage, Grubbs came on and set up a simple little keyboard; he learned with this being his first tour with airplanes, that you can not fly a full size keyboard and was improvising on every stop along the way.
accompanying him was Caitlin moe (i know i butchered her name...but i cant even find her on friggin google...which is a shame) she was incredible.
while he usually rocks out with another violinist, this beautiful girl provided some of the sweetest sounds that instrument can make, and at times it seemed by her expression that the music was touching even her, as if it were her first time hearing it. Comic relief present gave the vibe of what Grubbs himself compared to a "house party", and that could not have been more proven by the reaction and the wonder as a result of his rendition of "girls just wanna have fun".
the perfect balance of stage presence, beautiful songs and music, as well as a relationship with his audience that only Michael Grubbs could pull off, left such a positive air to the room after he closed his set.
Songs to Pay attention to: Dance So Good, War Sweater, Almost Everything, Brooklyn, Car Crash among others.

in either case, both musicians albums run around 10$ a piece, and its completely worth it.

they are both touring right now in very select cities so check out their webpages and go see them :]

she was AMAZING.

sentimental you, and faithful me.

Sing it Grubbs.

you can be anything baby....

but just be you.

lets dance.

what if i said that i loved you

what if i said that it was nothing new?

when the sun breaks through the windows,

id still be lying next to you

with the same look of wonder

oh you make me wonder

i want to see that smile

and make those eyes dance

youve got me wondering

oh youve got me wondering.

i always knew, i always knew

youve got me wondering.

i want to see you in the morning

i want to hold you something close to me

baby youve got me wondering.

Subway is raw right?

I broke down.
It was tasty.

like a mother effing mustard seed my friends

this is more of a faith FOR humanity post. rather than a faith IN humanity post.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/ct-health-hiv-antibody-07082010,0,6105219.story

this makes me happy.

dont stop giving to those charities. i look forward to a time when we can be rejoicing for a vaccination, a cure for cancer and serious illnesses rather than simply a hope. but for now, ill take hope :]

back to the future?

WHEN THE HECK DID THIS HAPPEN?

this is wen i realize the world is moving too fast for us.

when those that are born in THIS year can have drinks legally and finally stop stealign their dads PBR from the fridge to drink in the park with their friends. my word.

time is short. one minute you're celebrating your 21st birthday and suddenly its years since the last time youve been carded and you wonder where the time went. (slight exaggeration but this DOES make me feel older than i should.)

there are many lessons to teach those who turn 21.

hangover cures. we all have them, which to be honest really only work for ourselves. and there is no proof they do help, maybe it goes away on its own and we thank Aunt Ermas vile of juicejuice for giving us the pickmeup we needed.

my personal favorites and those that i, silly enough, believe do work include the following:

1. avoiding it all together by drinking 1.5x the amount of water as you do alcohol. starting from the beginning.

2. Orgasms. i am a firm believer that sex was the answer to my most recent hangover (in which i did not do the whole water thing).

3. stick to your guns..and by guns i mean the same type of alcohol. dont mix n match. find a good one and overdo it.

4. repeat #2. over and over again if it doesnt work. :]

5. if all else fails. throw up. throw the fuck up. just get it all out. and then crap.

and take heed to the fact that your body is telling you to get that crap out of you, and that it hates to have it all in there.

19eightyfuckingnine.

wow how time flies.

love the life. love the world. respect your elders. enjoy your drinks and drink responsibly children.

pshah.

love you, you drunken fools.

:]

its important to reflect...and to be excited about things.

remember that.

love love love love

listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing.

ive had more than my fair share of drinking. tonight marks the start of my raw fooding.

i ate a zucchini for dinner :} raw...omg. that was a lesson learned. no bueno.

i have had a wee bit of drinks.

and i am enjoying myself.

its amazing the amount of love one feels when drinking :] lets all just have a drink...or quite a few.

its the fifth of july, which is a significant date.

my grandfather was born on this day.

and i am celebrating.

be safe my friends, and love any and everyone.

i love you.

Protesting makes me feel like an uber hippy

there is a protest happening that i am taking part in on Wednesday July 7th, 2010.

a friend of mine is organizing it and hopefully we can change something.

you see her son was born with a very rare disorder. and she fears for the options available for her son. for rightful reason.

http://miraclesandmysteries.blogspot.com/

here is what is currently worrying this mother.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Official protest notice against Budget cuts on Services to families with children who have disabilities

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! My name is Sharlene Curnow THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME AND I HOPE TO ALL OF YOU
I have just learned that legislators are going to be putting forward a proposal for budget cuts. This proposal, if accepted, will call for thereduction or elimination of most services provided to children with developmental disabilities.

Impact of Service Reductions on Families with Children experiencing Developmental DisabilitiesIn response to the budget shortfall, the Governor's Reduction Order has included the reduction or elimination of most services provided to children with developmental disabilities. The Order includes the elimination of all family support, elimination of Long term support for Children with Developmental Disabilities, elimination of PC20 Services, reduction in foster care, residential programs, proctor care, and raising case management ratios to 1 case manager to every 300 children.
The following link is the break down of the proposed cuts.
http://www.oregon.gov/DAS/BAM/Allot_Reduction_Pages/DHS_SeniorsPeopleWithDisabilities.pdf
This will be a peaceful civil protest, anything less would discredit us as a united front fighting for the rights of our children.
Location: Capital steps in front of the Capital building
Date: Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Time:9:00am to 11:00am
Be creative bring your own sign, a 3'x6' Banner will be displayed that says..OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT EXPENDABLE STOP SPECIAL SERVICES BUDGET CUTS.

Rules of conduct:
1. you can not prevent or block any person entering or leaving the capital building
2. you can not prevent traffic from moving
3. no littering
4. no loud devises that can be heard inside the building
5. no alcoholic beverages
6. no candles unless you have a drip catch around it
7. no physical contact with anyone

These are the most important of the rules that were provided to me today. It is important that we adhere to ALL of them as we want to make a statement that will stick in the minds of those who walk by.
IF ANYONE IS OUT OF BOUNDS AND GETS OUT OF CONTROL THEY WILL BE ASKED NICELY TO REMOVE THEMSELVES FROM THE EVENT.

I have contacted Channel 12,2 to see if they would be willing to do a story on us, as I feel we need to make this issue as public as possible. Other radio stations and news channels will be contacted prior to the event.
There will be flyers to pass out with information on various people to write as well to dispute these changes.
If you are the parent of a child with disabilities, or have a family member not just a child with disabilities please I encourage you to take a stand for their rights. Spread the word!!
I ask that if you are interested in attending you notify me no later than Friday July 1st, I have been asked by the capital to provide them an estimated head count.
My email address is: acurnow4@comcast.net
Thank you,
Sharlene M Curnow
Mother of Michael Curnow age 3 PVNH

her son is lovely and sweet, as i am positive are the children of others.

how sometimes i feel that we take for granted the LARGE small things such as our health.

my health is wonderful my family has good health. wake up in the morning.

look at your children, your spouse, your lover, your sister, your brother your parents.

and be thankful how beautiful a thing to have their breaths entering the atmosphere.

it is not a slight thing, and not one to be taken lightly, to be here. to be alive. to be.

what beauty!

Jack is my Soulmate

"One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple."
— Jack Kerouac

"It always makes me proud to love the world somehow- hate's so easy compared."
— Jack Kerouac (Big Sur)

you see i may over complicate things with the way i feel in my heart.

this is it.

and that is all.

hippies like sex too.

:]

it is a feel good way to spend time with someone you have love for.

just saying.

(however, there is a safe way to feel good and an unsafe way. thats all.)

i love you!

while discussing my views on love and life with someone very dear to me, we got around to talking about something i have never thought of before.

she began to speak with me about a commercial that she saw which reminded her of how she would like to wake up in the morning and immediately list off the things she loves. how that would set the mood for the entire day and i thought, what an amazing fucking idea.

to wake in the morning and think immediately of that which makes you happy!

why wouldnt we want to greet the day with love?

rather than say "i hate that i have to get up" or immediately think 'im tired" what if we opened our eyes and loved the breaths we breathed, the covers keeping us warm, the blinds to keep out the sun but that can be easily opened to show the beautiful world.

how abut the trees that give oxygen. to get ready for work saying "i love that i have a job and a paycheck" as opposed to only saying "i dont want to work today".

greet the day with love rather than disgrunts.

embrace the day and dont just accept it or get through it.

Love and THRIVE and dont just survive.

this world is for livin in and this life is for loving.

what do YOU love?

im talking about anything.

i love my laptop.

i love the couches im sitting on in all of there red splendor.

i love spandex workout pants and tights.

i love dresses and contact lenses that free me from my glasses, yet i love glasses on lazy days.

i love my camera.

i love my feet.

i love my skin being clear.

i love my eyes and how i can see them in those that are related to me.

i love the fact i have no whole siblings, each from a different mold.

i love and embrace the parents who left me in the dust, the lessons ive learned, the family that took me in. my wolves, i call them. i was raised by wolves.

i love the hangover.

i love sleepovers on the living room floor.

i love forts. i really fucking love forts.

i love the stars.

i love getting little sleep and still waking up rested.

i love infomercials when i just need background noise.

i love my bed. oh how i love my bed.

its not a complete list.

but how wonderful it feels to just love, even if its the small things :]

i make it a goal of mine to update here, to the passersby, the list of things that i love.

and its my hope that you wake in the morning and declare your love.

i love you.

thomas edison

"if we did all of the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

he was a smart dude.

he invented the fucking light bulb.

if that doesn't astound you, then you are crazy.

i do wonder sometimes if that is what he was referring to when he said this.

i mean seriously.

if you invented the ligthbulb wouldnt it freak you out a little?

thats not the point. the point is we need to astound ourselves.

go. astound yourself.

astound someone else.

take your sick coworker some soup.

donate your clothes to a thrift store.

walk around downtown instead of driving.

make one good choice for someone else, instead of just convenience and then COMMEND yourself. YOU must acknowledge that these changes make a difference before you start to believe them.

lover, you can do so much.

just DO.

but i love you anyway.

something beautiful is about to happen...

i can feel it.

so much ugly has happened in this world recently.

it feels like its crumblign around us.

all of our security "blankets" if you will.

the beaches are filled with tar.

michael jackson has died.

people are filled with hate and anger.

litter in the streets.

people without homes.

suits spending money on empty houses and expensive yet bland coffees that go stale and cold in their million dollar cupholders.

politicians campaigning like a high school election, promising things they think their people want to hear, yet avoiding the things that need action.

we cant wait for people to speak.

because, the ugly truth is some people, most people wont.

we have to have a bigger passion, a bigger sense of urgency.

today i emailed my senator, a one mr ron wyden, about green fuels, green energy and creating some green environmentally safe anything.

if we do nothing to prevent another oil spill it will happen again, on top of this point, what are we doing to avoid an "air spill". we pollute our environment daily.

lets face it we need better options.

i was thinking today, and this simple thought crossed my mind and i was finally able to put it into words.

i want to do something about the world we live in. under all this crap is a beautiful place. under all this anger and ignorance are beautiful people. i'd really like to see it for what it really is, not just what its being, before my time here is done.
i feel like my existence is more important than what i've allowed it to become. and its time for something meaningful.

i dont know what or why, but i feel as if something amazing is about to happen.

and it is about to unfold very quickly peacefully and loverly.

will it be something nationwide

or something local?

who gives a rats ass, as long as it is a change from what we are doing, and a change for the better, what does it matter?

read these: and get motivated:

http://www.takethewalk.net/

http://www.habitat.org/

http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/

find your senators, and send emails.

i found mine in ONE google search :]

do not allow yourself to ever have to admit you didnt try.

i love you, very much. and you may never know how much that is.

but im not going to let you suffer if i can help it.

i may not be able to change the entire world...but i can change my own.

in case you havent noticed...

these are NOT in order :] but its a fun game. what is now will be applicable yesterday and today.

in my world. and thats where you are.

enjoy.