cultivating love

this man is incredible. up until his transition to death today. he has lived his life full of love, and preaching that specifically. Love is whats important. if we all cultivated love, lived love, just love, the world would be so much calmer, more serene. i cultivate love even more now Ryan. for you, for your wife. for your littles. thank you for bringing forth love into so many. at 12:36 you left this side and at 12:37 you were no doubt welcomed with open arms on the other and greeted with "well done my son, i could not be more proud. im so so happy you are here." im so happy you are just basking in love and light right now. dont worry, we'll take care of yuour family.

quitcher bitchin.

harsh i know. and for that i am sorry. let me explain myself.
i dont often speak of things like this, but its been hard pressed on my mind.
im agrowin life. INSIDE MY PERSONS. thats not really something to be taken lightly.
this is not my first rodeo, yet for some reason it is much harder this go around. the estimate is that this being is supposed to arrive within 2 days time from now. and its quite the awkward emotion and feeling thats for sure. my body feels good and bad at the same time. i feel pulled in all different directions as well as pushed down by gravity and its evil vices. I am emotionally sound yet unstable.
im torn between moments of wanting so badly to have this person enter this world, and then others of wanting it to stay inside.
the past few days its been the former of the two. and i need to refocus.
there is a REASON this being is STILL IN THERE.
as a parent, a lover of my offspring i must remember i am willing to go to the ends of the earth for them. I would gladly trade my own comfort, mobility, safety and happiness to ensure they have their own. Why should this be any different? right now, i have comfort of knowing this person inside is comfortable. safe. happy. unaware. and simply because of my discomfort i will not allow myself to feel anything less.
it may be a constant reminder needed. but my body is doing something incredible. it is growing life. life which, to be very personal, was not expected to be.
when we agreed this was the path to take for another soulmate, we knew it might not happen. we trusted this universe and all that is in it. and it pulled through. I dont know why i was gifted such a thing. but i am. i refuse to accept this as anything other than a labor of love. every movement, every pain every step is important and necessary to its arrival, its happiness. and if we realy want to hippify it....
there is a purpose for everything related to this, and it is in some way affecting this world like the flap of a butterfly's wings.

love.

there is love inside of me.

there is a beautiful person, who feels hurt and love.
who has experienced pain and sadness.
who has let me in to his life.

there is passion and excitement. and the new feelings that surface are intimidating yet exciting! how incredible it is to "just love".

without judgement or fear of anything.

dont get me wrong, its scary as all hell. but it doesnt have to be what it isnt, all it has to be is what it is.

no damn good reason

I've yet to hear a good reason why it is that the gays shouldnt be able to get married.

thomas edison

"if we did all of the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

he was a smart dude.

he invented the fucking light bulb.

if that doesn't astound you, then you are crazy.

i do wonder sometimes if that is what he was referring to when he said this.

i mean seriously.

if you invented the ligthbulb wouldnt it freak you out a little?

thats not the point. the point is we need to astound ourselves.

go. astound yourself.

astound someone else.

take your sick coworker some soup.

donate your clothes to a thrift store.

walk around downtown instead of driving.

make one good choice for someone else, instead of just convenience and then COMMEND yourself. YOU must acknowledge that these changes make a difference before you start to believe them.

lover, you can do so much.

just DO.

but i love you anyway.

sweet sweet

you are so so beautiful.

press your laughter up against my nervous lips.

and lets see how we kiss.

:]

how beautiful

life is beautiful.

there are some distinct moments or people that reinstill my faith in humanity and remember why i give.

here are some of them.

awkward moments.

that smile they give you.

when you look at that person...and find them looking back at you.

that moment when you look in the mirror and feel BEAUTIFUL.

when you are stopped at a light and notice the person in the car next to you in singing at the TOP of their lungs with no one else in the car.

when the most talented of people are humble and modest and dont realize how good they really are.

those who suck...but do it anyway just for the love of the art :]

the person who lets you in front of them in dead stop traffic jam or right when you realize you are about 4 seconds from missing your exit.

The person who invented netflix.

when someone buys coffee for the person behind them at the drive up coffee cart.

those who dont care whether or not the homeless are being helped by others, and though they may have a split second judgement about their appearance or the handwriting on the cardboard...they give them a couple bucks either and trade in their mass produced overpriced coffee for a travel mug of folgers.

little kids who have personality. those that arent drones or just robots. those with passion and excitement who love and enjoy life. i believe these little humans have the knowledge we all seek.

those who donate to charity.

everyone associated with St Jude childrens hospital.

celebrities who lead by example.

Angelina and Brad for loving all people, and loving children they know were born to be theirs. as well as working in New Orleans.

Jason Mraz for his work in ghana.

When companies use their money to help others.

the little kids who raised money for charity with lemonade stands, bracelets and original drawings.

pro bono lawyers

meals on wheels

doctors without borders

Toms freakin shoes.

those people who serve our country, and those who thank them face to face.

so many things. these are all on mymind for now. what are you doing to instill faith in humanity? to give humanity faith?

Love in the Eyes of Erica Jong

Love
"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
Erica Jong - How to Save Your Own Life

that sums it up right there.

now if only people didnt think of love as just something shared between two people...or something that died away.

the cynisists are ruining it for us all.