sweet sweet

you are so so beautiful.

press your laughter up against my nervous lips.

and lets see how we kiss.

:]

like missing an arm?

in my life of love i have talked to many people.

while discussing the love i feel in my heart, and discussing those that i have loved, and what i have in my life and what it feels like to be single, in whatever sense of the word people take that, someone asked "like missing an arm?".

to which i say, yes and no.

am i in a relationship, or what the average person would consider a relationship? no. and in the traditional sense of the word single one might feel empty. but i dont feel like i am missing love at all.

if love is an arm, i am Sheeva :]

i dont need a lover to feel love, or to feel complete.

i maintain that maybe i dont have all the answers. maybe the most recent love of my life will be again, or maybe it has sailed and we can reminisce on the good times. it ended so unfathomably well, that i can even hope that it is the end so there is no negativity surrounding it and the stigma that comes with ending such a relationship can be proven mythical. i will forever say to said lover that i love them. and im not ashamed of that.

i dont know the answers when it comes to love.

i do not believe people were meant to sleep alone. you are meant to feel the warmth and love of a person next to you.

your hand is meant to fit in someone else's.

music was meant to be experienced, not just listened to. it was meant to bring you to something greater than yourself. you are meant to listen WITH someone, SING with someone whatever moves you.

you are meant to find a passion. something that envelops you into higher feeling and i believe you are meant to be passionate about something WITH someone.

we were meant to walk together.

with someone.

this someone does not necessarily mean boyfriend, or girlfriend, or lover, or husband or wife.

its on a higher level of connectivity.

i do seek for one thing:

for someone to see the love that i feel, and for them to feel it too, so we can talk about it. and we can maintain it for this world as if it were the last shred of hope alive.

i want the world to plant a tree.

i want us all to drive hybrids.

i want the world to strive for clean water for all people.

i want everyone to have shoes. (toms.com)

i want everyone to greet like they do other countries. to greet with a kiss or a hug.

to not have such a closed off bubble.

i want to experience love with people.

maybe its not just person, maybe its all people. maybe i want to engage the world.

its sometimes difficult to have such emotions and such love and to have such a passionate and powerful grip of the world... i feel such content and such happiness. i have a wonderful life. i have people and love and passion and excitement and wonderful wonderful wolves.

its in this matter i cant even begin to accurately explain how i feel.

i dont think i will ever get enough love.

how fucking beautiful.

im such a fucking hippy.

love you.

i get really pissed...

how on earth have we as people, residents of this earth, not cleaned up the water?!

there are some instances in which i feel like we are too selfish a person.

because often times out of sight out of mind just seems to easy. to simple.

dont think about it.

but you need to. we need to.

THINK ABOUT IT.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Deepwater_Horizon_oil_spill_-_May_24,_2010_-_with_locator.jpg

that photo says it all. completely. i wish i had the ability to drop what i am doing and go do something about it.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/greenspace/2010/06/gulf-oil-spill-hands-across-the-sand.html

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/2010/0626/Gulf-oil-spill-Could-toxic-storm-make-beach-towns-uninhabitable

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-06-26-gulf-widow-oil-spill_N.htm

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/06/27/AR2010062703622.html

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE65R14K20100628

http://www.google.com/crisisresponse/oilspill/

loving everyone.

i have a new tattoo.

its important that we love. all people.

i have loved 4 men in my life.

one is about my height with pale with blonde hair and blue eyes with a little bit of a tummy on him :]

another is about 5 ft 10 with dark hair all over, dark eyes and about 250 lbs. Rocker turned chef.

another is 5 ft 9 with dirty light brown hair, eyes i cant remember the color of, i know, odd. he wears glasses and is a total nerd.

the last is smaller than i in every way. with brown hair, the most beautiful blue eyes, and the most unreadable personality.

different, and not at all what i would guess is my type. yes my type physically is about 6 ft tall, with deep eyes and dark hair. average in weight and a complete humanitarian.

ive always wanted to save the world with somebody. but i have yet to fall in love with one of those men. i have fallen for others. and you just dont choose that.

in addition i am a firm believer that there isnt just one person for everyone.

i have loved and lost those people, but i do not consider the love to eb gone. on my end i love them the same way i did before. it would be just as easy to talk with them as i did back then. i would feel comfortable watching scary movies and talking about my passions with them. i would sing in front of them, bare my insecurities in front of them and have no hesitations. while i may not be with them, the love is there.

love should be for everyone. i want to experience love for all people on such a level. recently myself and one love broke up.

i went through a bit of a spell dealing with it and escaped to a beautiful city.

i spent some time with friends of mine. and really felt love.

my friends and i sat on the couch and held hands and just spent time together. sounds silly but it felt great. just sitting in the presence of people i love, hugging and holding hands felt wonderful to feel close to someone in that way without the binds of a relationship or the obligation of it. they didnt have to, neither did i. it was four of us. 2 gentlemen and 2 ladies and we just spent time together. no emotionally driven desire for relationship just pure unfiltered love. i then spent the next day with a friend of mine and we walked through town together. holding hands and feeling close to one another. nothing blurring the lines of love, and without a care in the world.

to hear the words "you're beautiful" from someone not obligated to say it or not in such a position in your life, as a lover often is, is amazing. that i can look to a friend and tell him "you are a wonderful person" unprovoked feels so free.

its important that we have these moments in times that are good. to hear "i love you" from a friend in a time that is good and not just at a hard time in your life feels even that much more amazing.

the ability to go to a friend and tell them its a hard time, and lay in their lap watching a movie while they run their fingers through your hair and then to be able to get up and go your separate ways is amazing and freeing.

i have respected my previous loves by not doing anything with my friends they dont feel comfortable with. and there are obvious things i dont do. no kissing or going past the lines of friendship in that way. no intimacy aside from just affection. if emotions are involved, you run the risk of playign with fire.

but sometimes fireplay is good!

its respect and love for each other and it really supports personal freedom and love. these friends you have, they are everything! those ones that have been there for you for so long. in some cases, when you have trouble in your love with lovers, you turn to these people for advice and support, for love and laughs. in this case i have known and loved each of these people for about 8 years on average. and those ones stick with you for a reason. one of my close friends (i dont believe in a best friend) and i will sit together and cross legs and she and i will just watch tv. hold hands and talk and laugh. ill brush her hair or she will brush mine. we take care of each other and why should these behaviors be afforded to just members of the same sex?

while i can understand the complexity of such behaviors i dont agree with them. and i choose to love unashamed.

the old adage true love waits is not the one i follow. more like true love loves.

from all sides. you dont just feel true love from those you marry, but also those who have loved you for years and love you through all. its merely a different kind of love.

i love you.

i love me.

and i love life.

how do you show love? it may not be physical or verbal but somethign unique in a way only you do.

its powerful :]

just love.

just love my ass.

sometimes the whole Just Love theory is put to the test when it means loving someone that you really dont want to.

or that you want to, it just really hurts to.

but it hasnt failed me in the past. just saying.

Frenemies.

Whoever said kep your friends close and your enemies closer was a skeptical mother fucker. Don't have enemies to begin with.

This message was sent 6 years ago to my crappy at the time state of the art motorola v180. Wahoo!
I'm reminded of how incredibly Blessed I am to have such wonderful family. Are they all blood related? No, some are referred to as Wolves in previous posts, because I was raised by them. Some are linked by blood. some are just family.

While it is the common belief that everyone has a mommy & daddy, I prove this wrong.
I do not. it has taken many a year to admit this to the world. because until i found my love for humanity i will be truthful in saying i thought MotherEarth and her inhabitants were all douchebags.
I'm not sad about this whole no parents business, because my wolves have long since been there taking care of me, though I could easily have been a lamb to them.

Enemies are what you make of them. Do not let someone you don't care about in so much they can influence your every fiber of being.

Make friends with everyone. And kep your family closer still.

This world is too cold and this time too short to muck it up with anger and hatred. Choose your wolves wisely. :]