its important that we love. all people.
i have loved 4 men in my life.
one is about my height with pale with blonde hair and blue eyes with a little bit of a tummy on him :]
another is about 5 ft 10 with dark hair all over, dark eyes and about 250 lbs. Rocker turned chef.
another is 5 ft 9 with dirty light brown hair, eyes i cant remember the color of, i know, odd. he wears glasses and is a total nerd.
the last is smaller than i in every way. with brown hair, the most beautiful blue eyes, and the most unreadable personality.
different, and not at all what i would guess is my type. yes my type physically is about 6 ft tall, with deep eyes and dark hair. average in weight and a complete humanitarian.
ive always wanted to save the world with somebody. but i have yet to fall in love with one of those men. i have fallen for others. and you just dont choose that.
in addition i am a firm believer that there isnt just one person for everyone.
i have loved and lost those people, but i do not consider the love to eb gone. on my end i love them the same way i did before. it would be just as easy to talk with them as i did back then. i would feel comfortable watching scary movies and talking about my passions with them. i would sing in front of them, bare my insecurities in front of them and have no hesitations. while i may not be with them, the love is there.
love should be for everyone. i want to experience love for all people on such a level. recently myself and one love broke up.
i went through a bit of a spell dealing with it and escaped to a beautiful city.
i spent some time with friends of mine. and really felt love.
my friends and i sat on the couch and held hands and just spent time together. sounds silly but it felt great. just sitting in the presence of people i love, hugging and holding hands felt wonderful to feel close to someone in that way without the binds of a relationship or the obligation of it. they didnt have to, neither did i. it was four of us. 2 gentlemen and 2 ladies and we just spent time together. no emotionally driven desire for relationship just pure unfiltered love. i then spent the next day with a friend of mine and we walked through town together. holding hands and feeling close to one another. nothing blurring the lines of love, and without a care in the world.
to hear the words "you're beautiful" from someone not obligated to say it or not in such a position in your life, as a lover often is, is amazing. that i can look to a friend and tell him "you are a wonderful person" unprovoked feels so free.
its important that we have these moments in times that are good. to hear "i love you" from a friend in a time that is good and not just at a hard time in your life feels even that much more amazing.
the ability to go to a friend and tell them its a hard time, and lay in their lap watching a movie while they run their fingers through your hair and then to be able to get up and go your separate ways is amazing and freeing.
i have respected my previous loves by not doing anything with my friends they dont feel comfortable with. and there are obvious things i dont do. no kissing or going past the lines of friendship in that way. no intimacy aside from just affection. if emotions are involved, you run the risk of playign with fire.
but sometimes fireplay is good!
its respect and love for each other and it really supports personal freedom and love. these friends you have, they are everything! those ones that have been there for you for so long. in some cases, when you have trouble in your love with lovers, you turn to these people for advice and support, for love and laughs. in this case i have known and loved each of these people for about 8 years on average. and those ones stick with you for a reason. one of my close friends (i dont believe in a best friend) and i will sit together and cross legs and she and i will just watch tv. hold hands and talk and laugh. ill brush her hair or she will brush mine. we take care of each other and why should these behaviors be afforded to just members of the same sex?
while i can understand the complexity of such behaviors i dont agree with them. and i choose to love unashamed.
the old adage true love waits is not the one i follow. more like true love loves.
from all sides. you dont just feel true love from those you marry, but also those who have loved you for years and love you through all. its merely a different kind of love.
i love you.
i love me.
and i love life.
how do you show love? it may not be physical or verbal but somethign unique in a way only you do.
its powerful :]
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