i dislike this reference

i must preface this by saying that i a NOT a twilight junkie.

i have seen one and a half of the movies.

but i will readily admit that twilight is a good storyline, and i enjoy both the writing and the direction for the book/screenplay/movie.

my whole love for love can be seen similar to twilight.

in the movie you can tell, and feel the love that they have for each other.

i feel that with so many people.

the emotion is strong and intense and beautiful.

i also believe, on an unrelated note.

that one who experiences love on such a deep level, may also know what its like to experience hatred.

they dont go hand in hand, but you can feel both with such intensity.

i dont hate much.

but there are some things.

i HATE mayonnaise.

i hate the way i feel about a certain person. there is one person who hurts my heart more than anything with just their being.

i can be honest enough to say i hate the way this person makes me feel. they say distasteful and upsetting things and it hurts my heart.

and i wish i could learn to love this person in a way that i love others...even if they dont reciprocate.

i want to fall completely in love with the world.

but there are some things that need changing.

people need to stop doing bad things.

murder and rape and theft and violence.

ignorance.

why cant we be good people?

why cant they.

this world will be good one day.

how beautiful

life is beautiful.

there are some distinct moments or people that reinstill my faith in humanity and remember why i give.

here are some of them.

awkward moments.

that smile they give you.

when you look at that person...and find them looking back at you.

that moment when you look in the mirror and feel BEAUTIFUL.

when you are stopped at a light and notice the person in the car next to you in singing at the TOP of their lungs with no one else in the car.

when the most talented of people are humble and modest and dont realize how good they really are.

those who suck...but do it anyway just for the love of the art :]

the person who lets you in front of them in dead stop traffic jam or right when you realize you are about 4 seconds from missing your exit.

The person who invented netflix.

when someone buys coffee for the person behind them at the drive up coffee cart.

those who dont care whether or not the homeless are being helped by others, and though they may have a split second judgement about their appearance or the handwriting on the cardboard...they give them a couple bucks either and trade in their mass produced overpriced coffee for a travel mug of folgers.

little kids who have personality. those that arent drones or just robots. those with passion and excitement who love and enjoy life. i believe these little humans have the knowledge we all seek.

those who donate to charity.

everyone associated with St Jude childrens hospital.

celebrities who lead by example.

Angelina and Brad for loving all people, and loving children they know were born to be theirs. as well as working in New Orleans.

Jason Mraz for his work in ghana.

When companies use their money to help others.

the little kids who raised money for charity with lemonade stands, bracelets and original drawings.

pro bono lawyers

meals on wheels

doctors without borders

Toms freakin shoes.

those people who serve our country, and those who thank them face to face.

so many things. these are all on mymind for now. what are you doing to instill faith in humanity? to give humanity faith?

its beautiful

I do my thing, and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
Frederick E. Perl

i get really pissed when i find a really good quote that I was not the one to say it first.

thats basically my only thought on the subject.

i am going to choose to be thankful and grateful that there are other likeminded people in the world.

i love you frederick E perl.

Gusto. part 1/2

i had this drama teacher in high school. and i must admit, back in those days i wasnt as in tune with love and respect as i am now.

and i will tell you the breaking point, that came after many many things before that i wont divulge.

but this was it.

she asked us to lay on the floor.

and be butter.

our backs to the ground, relaxing all muscles like butter in a microwave.

i was blown away by this request in my theatre arts class but i obliged. and still felt silly.

until today.

i lay on my living room floor and pulled all of my muscles into my back.

i felt my body elongate and i felt tall, powerful, strong.

i imagined that i was outside. and that i was clinging to this earth with just my muscles.

there was no gravity; i was physically the reason that i was staying on the ground were my muscles gripping the ground. i focused on it. i breathed determination to not float into the sky.

and then i let it all go.

i let my stomach relax, my shoulders released.

i felt my back naturally arch the way it does just so.

i felt my eyes unsquint.

i felt my butt be a butt.

i felt all the muscles relax and the tension went away.

and i stayed on the ground.

it was then i felt like butter, completely relaxed and i smiled.

i took the punch and used those 22 muscles to smile.

but it felt great.

rather than feeling like a pile of blob, i felt like butter. and it actually felt nice.

i think the term meditation is used too tightly.

any moment in which you are able to escape and contemplate and reflect.

even when youre butter.

thanks Mrs B.

if i ever see you again, i promise i will be nicer, i will love you, and ill be butter.

the end of the world as we know it...

oh yeah, and when the end of the world comes,

you and i will go to another one,

just go on to another one, oh yeah,

we will.

to another one.

bring victory my friends.

sometimes you just need to dress up in 80s clothes and dance around.

just saying.

here is a video of me dancing around like a fool.

to the greatest song alive.

www.BringVictory.com

can you imagine

what love was flowing through his veins when he penned this song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUlEw4xAG-0&feature=related

such a beautiful song. such beautiful words. such beauty.

to be the muse, to be the muse.