i wont give up.

im horrible at yoga. im too distracted for traditional meditating. so instead i meditate with music. either on a drive, or in bed. i listen. i let it speak to me and i imagine lots of things: what it means to me, what it meant to the writer, what it means for the world. this one, by Mraz, is thought provoking. it is a devotion to my life, and all aspects of it. this will get personal. for that im not sorry.
this is my life anthem. this is what i want to remember all the time.

for my daughter.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold

for my son.
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

in general, to the family unit i have created out of love:
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

not only for my daughter while in utero, who heard this daily through strong uterine walls after it was released to the public, but also for my life partner. we had spent a year seperated, while others viewed us as weak, it was the best thing we could have done for ourselves and each other. such a relationship as complicated as ours is not built upon the same foundation as other traditional relationships. there is a level of mutual respect and love and freedom. something that lets me know we are two people, sometimes one, but that we came first, not the chicken nor the egg:

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

again. family.
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

for my love. my nontraditional spouse. my first soul mate:
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

for me. my life. im tough. i wont give up on myself. and i must acknowledge my family is who they are because of me, and that will never change.
I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

for the world. and all the love in it, and the love that is yet to be injected into it.
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up