Relig.

Religion. I've tried to find a religion that suits what I believe. I believe a religion shouldn't decide what I believe, but my beliefs should decide my religion. Religion isn't even a word I like, relationship is better.

Closely matching my beliefs are baha'i faith and the quakers (friends church). So I'm still not suited. Good news is that god and I are tight even without a word to define it. I just want to be able to explain my love in a word. That's all the religion words are right?

I believe god loves ME.
I believe sins are only things that hurt others. Sex isn't a sin unless it hurts another, lying is a sin, murder, thievery, manipulation, rumors, gossip those things.

Drinking is only a sin if it leads to misbehavior that hurts another...I.e. DUI.

Homosexuality is NOT a sin, its just an advejctive of a person, like being blond or liking rap music. Its not a choice, rather the way they were created. I love the gays and our society's intolerance is for sure a sin.

God is love and to show him to others is not to just talk and force it down their throats. Its to show them in actions. Love is a verb. One can't say they are exuding gods love completely because they go door to door or tithe 20% when there are homeless asking for help and they judge.

Live your life to be HAPPY but not at the expense of someone else...instead work to make yourself and everyone happy.

I think if we all outlined exactly what we believe in words other than by using the word of the religion we believe. Maybe we'd realize our god is all the same and we could be at peace.

That's what I want.

Love

Love reigns.

Sometimes its hard. I had to clean out a friend recently. I had maintained the just love creedo for so long that I let myself get walked over. Sadly I had to acknowledge loving myself meant setting expectations on how I deserve to be treated. I didn't use harsh words. But I had to walk it to the door of my life and show this person out. Hard times.

On other notes I'm learning life in a new city. Moved to a larger metropolitan area and feel marvelous. Its beautiful. I feel like the air is always cools and crisp and love is in the air. I've met so many wonderful free spirits who love. One in particular wo moved from texas to escape judgement and lifestyle persecution. He is a marvelous gay man who had been treated so poorly. Another is a man who is living day to day and appears so carefree and amazing. Also relearning my existing local friends and relearning their lives and who they are now not just who they used to be its such a wonderful thing.

And I've fallen in love.
A man.
Dark hair.
Handsome.
Good father.
Hard worker.

While he isn't interested in dating. I still go see him at work. To chat for a few moments. He is beautiful and that smile lifts me up. Maybe on day love. This is too good a feeling to share on my own.
Ill tell you more later baby.

For now I go finish work :)

there is someone.

i see him.

and his eye smile lights up my heart.

my hand wants to be held in yours so sweetly.

¹ All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.

² I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.

³ The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
"Have you seen the one my heart loves?"

⁴ Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother's house,
to the room of the one who conceived me.

⁵ Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.