allergic reaction

to raw food diet.

thats a lie.

its to the fruits im eating.

regardless, im prescribed a non raw diet.

which is good because i was getting food restless anyways.

im still eating healthy...likely more than i should but whatev.

i love this life.

its awful good to me.

how are you feeling today?

something on my mind. in lyric form.

you're just a rich boy with a mind of your own, feeling so lonely yet you've never been alone and i wonder what you think of when you think of me, or does it happen so infrequently...and i wonder.

sleep deprivation (now with oxygen!)

its also a powerful feeling to not sleep.

you feel highs and lows.

right now, i cant tell which one i am in.

i am about to go take advantage of the saturday market in town.

and take advantage of coffee.

i will violate you Coffee.

you are warned. :]

drugs are bad.

addictions are bad.

i used to have a serious addiction. thats a lie, i still do.

subway.

i know for a fact that its not just me that thinks sandwiches taste better when made by someone else. and even moreso when its someone you like. i have made friends with darn near most of the regular workers at the nearby subways and on and off for about 5 years i have eaten there more than a couple times a week.

they know me. or at least we laugh and they make me food.

the hardest part of breaking an addiction is the cravings.

i got out one night and was tired, hungry, and irritable. (happens to the best of us)

and all i wanted was the convenient goodness of an oven roasted chicken breast.

it was SO mental. i WANTED it. i didnt NEED it.

it was hard to overcome, especially since i passed 3 on the way home.

but i have to admit. it felt good to make it home and have some zucchini and onions.

i feel much better. energized, proud.

it feels good to know im doing something that is a challenge for me.

i challenge us all to do the same.

stolen.

so if the grammar is no bueno...then i am apologetic towards it.

its something i heard today, and posted at a different time.

:]

its important and needs to be heard.

sigue siendo tu propia inspiracion..... para que me sigas inspirando

again, if its conjugated wrongly, im sorry:]

sabbatical.

i dont know if i have discussed in length my sabbatical.
i am far too lazy to check and see if i have in these posts, so i will

speak of it again.

i went on a sabbatical.
to quote the dictionary, or A dictionary rather:
Sab·bat·i·cal   [suh-bat-i-kuhl] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
of or pertaining or appropriate to the Sabbath.
2.
( lowercase ) of or pertaining to a sabbatical year.
3.
( lowercase ) bringing a period of rest.
–noun
4.
( lowercase ) sabbatical year.
5.
( lowercase ) any extended period of leave from one's customary work, esp. for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc.

See Also:

Psychotic break

A psychotic break is a (layman) term used to describe the first time

that a person experiences an episode of primary psychosis.

it was not bad by any means.

i did not shirk responsibilities nor as i irresponsible (if you dont count the money i certainly should not have spent for which i have nothing to show for it but said sabbatical).

it felt amazing.

i ran off in my car and ventured with loved ones to feel love.

i sought after that high of being around those that have a strong connection with you.

it was quite the high. a 4 day high i continued to seek once i returned.

i would sit in a coffee shop with my laptop and a perfect cup of coffee in recycled cups made from baristas with bandanas and dreadlocks and just soak it all in. it felt tantric, like i was making love those those other seekers who yearned and burned for the same contact and spiritual lovemaking that i sought after.

i can tell you with 100% confidence that at no time during this period was i high on any substance. i did drink one of those nights which led to an amazing time with a stranger in a cab (not sexually, but that is another story best left for a time you arent already judging me :] )

i felt strong and invincible.

life before this did not apply to me.

i didnt think of my family or my troubles.

i escaped to my own inner sanctuary.

it was amazing. liberating. freeing and defining.

i was amazed. liberated. freed and defined.

it was so epiccaly beautiful.

i think EVERYONE needs a sabbatical.

just go. disappear.

turn off your phone.

log out of your email.

stop updating facebook for the love of god.

no instant messaging.

no voicemail.

be around those only cognitive to your development.

feel something real. feel something NEW.

to just experience something.

its quite powerful.

my goal is to now have my life be a mini psychotic break daily.

there isnt a good clear way to end this with a solid conclusion. so im just gonna go at it.

this is what it reminds me of:

Rumspringa (also Rumschpringe or Rumshpringa, derived from the Pennsylvania German term for "running around")^[1] generally refers to a period of adolescence for some members of theAmish, a subsect of the Anabaptist Christian movement, that begins around the age of sixteen and ends when a youth chooses baptism within the Amish church or instead leaves the community.

this is what i had. a Rumspringa.

i came back having decided my life was going to be different.

why live life for just one when you can live it for all?

id like to say it is the age old question, but ive yet to hear it be asked.