and i will tell you the breaking point, that came after many many things before that i wont divulge.
but this was it.
she asked us to lay on the floor.
and be butter.
our backs to the ground, relaxing all muscles like butter in a microwave.
i was blown away by this request in my theatre arts class but i obliged. and still felt silly.
until today.
i lay on my living room floor and pulled all of my muscles into my back.
i felt my body elongate and i felt tall, powerful, strong.
i imagined that i was outside. and that i was clinging to this earth with just my muscles.
there was no gravity; i was physically the reason that i was staying on the ground were my muscles gripping the ground. i focused on it. i breathed determination to not float into the sky.
and then i let it all go.
i let my stomach relax, my shoulders released.
i felt my back naturally arch the way it does just so.
i felt my eyes unsquint.
i felt my butt be a butt.
i felt all the muscles relax and the tension went away.
and i stayed on the ground.
it was then i felt like butter, completely relaxed and i smiled.
i took the punch and used those 22 muscles to smile.
but it felt great.
rather than feeling like a pile of blob, i felt like butter. and it actually felt nice.
i think the term meditation is used too tightly.
any moment in which you are able to escape and contemplate and reflect.
even when youre butter.
thanks Mrs B.
if i ever see you again, i promise i will be nicer, i will love you, and ill be butter.
